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Terry  to DL Hoefer

show details 11/19/10

thank you very much

Please feel free to get back.  I was feeling very unsupported a few weeks ago - then looked within myself at all the aspects of myself that had never been supported and allowed what had never been allowed to be to be.  It was amazing.  I suddenly felt supported and support now seems to engulf me.

this is how I am feeling at the moment, could you talk about how you shifted?

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DL Hoefer to Terry It seems to me that freedom comes from allowing awareness to all the various aspects and evolutions of my fear.  To become relative to fear, I have to make it my friend:

show details 11/19/10

I was going through a period of sadness I couldn't shake.  I stayed open to it, embracing it if you will – looking for the maturity to spend the rest of my life with it if I must.  There was nothing to do – anything I did to feel better only reinforced the sadness – my evasion only made the underlying issue stronger.  Think about this to see if it isn't true for you?  Then one day a sales girl gave me a very sincere smile and I saw the cloud I was holding over everyone in my life.  That perspective allowed me to hold the sadness and the wellness – it enlarged my consciousness if you will.  

I received a photo of a young woman who I know has been loved and supported from childhood.  When I looked at her photo, I couldn't find a singly inhibition in her expression.  She seemed wholly undamaged and joyful - enthusiastically embracing life, and it occurred to me that if this young woman lost her family today, life would continue supporting her just as it had until now.  I thought to myself.  I don't feel supported - so it is as though I had lost my family – what is keeping me from being that orphan child who has only known support?  

I went inside myself and reflected on all of my inhibitions – given to control and limit me.  I saw their source and  and felt them as deeply as I could.  Feeling them as deeply as I could was my way of fully identifying with what they were and how they had been working in my life - acknowledging as apposed to reacting.  Taking the time to see them as clearly as I could allowed me to know within myself their invalidity - and then I was able to simply let them go.  It was frightening because I had actually come to believe in my inhibitions.  What I am sharing is not a technique so much as facing fear and allowing awareness – caring more about what is true, than how I feel or what I want.  

As I let them go I could see how I had been holding life back through them – not holding life back I felt immediate support.  My experience since that time is that I am that orphan child.